My friend Tomohiro Takei posted a message on Facebook that moved me deeply. I have translated it along with his responses to the comments by others. It provides comfort to me as I face the losses, expected and unexpected, that are a necessary part of living. The original Japanese follows.
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This year the loss of three family members have moved me into the realm of enlightenment. Death is always near us and is nothing to be feared. Strangely I don't feel it is a separation or an ending.
Burning incense I give a message of gratitude. When I look at my grandmother's photo, it seems like I hear her voice say, "Wake up! Get going!" I answer in my heart, "Yes!" and renew my resolve to fulfill my sense of purpose in my work in this world. I realize how my grandmother's suffering and survival through a difficult time, has given strength to my life. I will strive to live as if the baton of life has been passed on.
If we can separate from attachment, bitter medicine is felt as no more than a wave of the heart. To say it an extreme way, death may be a sad thing, but in a way I can't understand, I shed tears, but they are beautiful tears, grateful tears. I wish to go on living, cherishing each and every moment.
この一年で、三人の家族・親族を亡くし、もはや悟りの領域。死は常に我々の身近にあるし、畏怖するものでもない。あまり、お別れとも、終わりとも思っていない不思議な自分。長く焼香して、感謝のメッセージを伝える。見上げると、祖母の写真から「シャキっと、しないとアカンよ」と聞こえたような気がした。「はい！」と心の中で応え、この世での仕事をやり切る使命感を新たにしました。
良く分かったのは、祖母が苦労して大変な時代を生き抜いたからこそ、私が命を授かることができたということ。命のバトン生かせるように、頑張ります。
執着から離れれば、苦楽は心の波にすぎないと感じます。極端に言うと、死が悲しいことなのかも、今の自分には良く分からなくなっていて、涙は出ますが、きれいな涙、感謝の涙です。一瞬一瞬を大切に、生き抜いて行きたいですね。